Giving and Receiving Feedback
| Giving and Receiving Feedback |
Giving Feedback EffectivelyNumber One Rule: Try to make it a positive process and experience. Before giving feedback make sure you remind yourself why you are doing it. The purpose for giving feedback is to improve the situation or performance. You won't accomplish this by being harsh, critical, or offensive.Obviously not all feedback is positive. There is a role for negativity and even anger if someone isn't paying sufficient attention to what you're saying. However this should be used sparingly. You'll most often get much more from people when your approach is positive and focused on improvement. Be very careful that you are not attacking. Do it straight away. The closer to the event you address the issue, the better. Plus it will be received better and you will hopefully avoid a ‘mountain/mole hill’ situation. Feedback should never be about surprising someone, so the sooner you do it, the more the person will be expecting it. Think of it this way: It's much easier to feed back about a single one-hour job that hasn't been done properly than it is to feed back about a whole year of failed one-hour jobs. Make it regular. Feedback is a process that requires constant attention. When something needs to be said, say it. People then know where they stand all the time and there are few surprises. Also, problems don't get out of hand. This is NOT a once-a-year or a once-every-three-month event. While this may be the timing of formal feedback, informal, simple feedback should be given much more often than this, as situations arise. With frequent informal feedback like this, nothing said during formal feedback sessions should be unexpected, surprising or particularly difficult. Prepare your comments. You don't want to read a script but you do need to be clear about what you are going to say. This helps you stay on track and stick to the issues. Always have examples. Be specific. Tell the person exactly what they need to improve on. This ensures that you stick to facts and there is less room for ambiguity. If you tell someone they acted unprofessionally, what does that mean exactly? Were they too loud, too friendly, or too casual? Remember to stick to what you know firsthand: You'll quickly find yourself on shaky ground if you start giving feedback based on other people's views. Criticise in private. While public recognition is appreciated, public scrutiny is not. Establish a safe place to talk where you won't be interrupted or overheard. Use "I" statements. Give the feedback from your perspective. This way you avoid labelling the person. Say, "I was angry and hurt when you criticized my report in front of my boss" rather than "You were insensitive yesterday." Limit your focus. A feedback session should discuss no more than two issues. Any more than that and you risk the person feeling attacked and demoralized. You should also stick to behaviours the person can actually change or influence. Talk about positives too. A good rule is start off with something positive. This helps put the person at ease. It also lets them "see" what success looks like and this helps them to take the right steps next time. Take time out if the situation is highly emotional. This is the exception to ‘give feedback immediately’ wait until everyone has calmed down before you engage in feedback. You can't risk letting yourself get worked up and risk saying something you will regret later. No exaggerations. Try not to exaggerate to make a point. Avoid words like ‘never’, ‘all’ and ‘always’ because the person will get defensive. Always discuss the direct impact of the behaviour and don't get personal or seek to blame. Provide specific suggestions. Make sure you both know what needs to be done to improve the situation. The main message should be that you care and want to help the person grow and develop. Set goals and make plans to monitor and evaluate progress. Use the SMART acronym and define specific steps and milestones. The person really needs to be able to see how they can change the situation. Follow up. The whole purpose of feedback is to improve performance. You need to measure whether or not that is happening and then make adjustments as you go. Be sure to document your conversations and discuss what is working and what needs to be modified. Receiving Feedback EffectivelyNo one is above receiving suggestions for improvement. Therefore, knowing how to process feedback positively yourself, is just as valuable a skill as being able to give feedback in a positive manner. Here are some tips: Seek feedback. Ask for feedback regularly from a variety of sources. It's hard to see your own shortcomings but if you ask, many people are more than willing to tell you about them. The objective is growth, so if you keep an open mind you will start welcoming ideas and suggestions for improvement. If you feel bombarded with negatives, don't be shy about asking for some positive feedback as well. Avoid debates. Feedback sessions are best viewed as a partnership for improvement. When you allow defensiveness to enter the conversation then you aren't open to hearing what the other person is saying. You are too busy trying to justify yourself and prove why what the person is saying is wrong or won't work. Accept feedback for what it is – an attempt to help you improve your skills and develop personally and professionally. Listen actively. Paraphrase what is being said and make sure you are clear about the behaviour that needs to be improved and any goals you set to bring that about. This helps prevent misunderstandings. Probe for details and try not to interrupt. Participate actively in the suggested steps for improvement. Ask for examples. You need to be really clear about what you are doing that is not working. Take notes if you need to. The better you understand exactly what you are doing "wrong", the easier it is to formulate a plan to change it. If you receive feedback that you don't know how to action (for example, if you're accused of being unprofessional) ask people to zero in on precisely the behaviour they want to see changed. Otherwise there's nothing you can do about it other than worry. Don't obsess. Accept the feedback for what it is. Some of it you may agree with and some you may not. Take what you need from the comments and begin addressing what you can. There is no need to feel insulted or to go over and over the scene in your head. Recognize the positive intention, even when the message is not delivered expertly, and seize the opportunity to learn more about yourself and to improve. Process the feedback in your own time. Take time to evaluate the message and decide how you are going to apply it. If that means taking a day or two before putting an action plan in place, that's OK. Put your energy into understanding rather than fixing. In the end, how you respond to feedback is up to you. Not everything that is suggested to you will be appropriate or actionable. Ultimately you are the only one who can improve your performance and part of that responsibility is choosing what to work on. Being open to the comments and feedback given to you will only help you get a more robust picture of your current performance; giving you more options from which to develop your improvement plan. Key PointsFeedback is a two way street. You need to know how to give it effectively and at the same time model how to receive it constructively. When you make a conscious choice to give and receive feedback on a regular basis you demonstrate that feedback is a powerful means of personal development. Done properly, feedback doesn’t need to be agonising, demoralising, or daunting and the more practice you get the better you will become at it. It may never be your favourite means of communicating with employees, co-workers, or bosses but it does have the potential to make your workplace a much more productive and harmonious place to be. Want more information? Contact Anna Chipperfield, PJT’s Executive Coach and expert in staff happiness. Book a free consultation today! |
